Bodybuilding through the pandemic...

Firstly, I apologize for such a tremendous gap in my blogs.  I literally have 7 drafts typed of material I have been waiting to publish, but as times change so do topics.

Here is a boring blah synopsis of my daily life (skip this paragraph for less bordem),

So currently I am sitting in my home- Week 3 of quarantine, laid off from work, let me remind you that in my mindset ( Every job that brings money to the table to support a family is essential for that household). getting stir crazy, the appeal of television, social media, and electronics have far surpassed the boredom stage.  My 10 month old daughter and husband are by my side and we are trying to cope and handle each day as it comes. As the weeks turn into months, slowly we begin to adjust to this new form of life. New schedules to adjust too, household projects finally getting completed and you probably can lick every inch of my house with the amount of deep cleaning that I have accomplished. 

Now for me to get on my soapbox, please remember that these are my personal opinions and observations. They are from me personally and not from anyone else, please do not take offense if you don't agree, just stop reading and move on with your life...

For those of you who have been following my journey to my professional status as a women's physique competitor  I have been in show prep now since the 2nd week of January , so about 14 weeks.  Before prep I was working on my post- mom body and was dieting hard from June 2019 - December 2019 - 6 months.  I have a vision and a goal this year to go pro and with all of my shows pushed back it has been an intense mind-fuck and a new depth of mental strength that I had to dig deep to find within me. 

Bodybuilding has been my life for over a decade, it pulled me out of my clinical depression, it has helped me into recovery from bulimia nervosa, my self-esteem has increased,  and overall it keeps my life whole. It keeps my life moving forward with a purpose, drive and passion and now I find myself lost.

I think their are many of you who find your escape from the problems of the world through the weight of the iron. The simple peace and simplicity of zoning into another dimension of inner strength and diminishing the problems of the world for a brief moment help reset my sanity daily. 

When the shelter-at-home order was issued my depression set in immediately.  I cried, I was angry, I hated the world, I hated the governor,  and I hated the media.  Everytime I turned on the news I was sick to my stomach.  I knew though that I had to adapt, as I learned that the orders to stay at home would be months long before we could resume our normal lives I had to begin adjusting and creating a new routine.   So we (my husband and I) created a gym in our garage, we started changing the reps and weight ranges around, I had to change my mindset around into the mindset of adapting and overcoming and knowing that my body could still stay tight and preserve muscle during this quarantine.

Let me remind you that I am still in prep. 14 weeks of dieting and another 14 weeks to go (as long as my shows aren't pushed back) and that is the most mentally grueling of it all. Not knowing for sure if there is an end in sight, when is the end? When will my show go on? When can I train normally again? How will I be able to afford everything? 

Call me selfish or call me whatever but when your life is completely disrupted in a moment and all you want is it back ...its hard. Its hard because you don't know the severity of this epidemic. What are facts and what are lies? My family is not going irrational from this pandemic. We aren't hoarding shit,  we aren't wearing masks in public, we aren't wearing gloves and touching everything on the shelves with the same pair of gloves only to find them littered in the parking lot later.

COVID- 19 has fucked us. It has fucked you, it has fucked me and it has completely taken over the world with a post apocalyptic type feel as we all feel grounded in our own home.   Shame on all you extremists for hoarding all the supplies, ranting bullshit over Facebook, and wearing masks and gloves while you are driving (you look like a fucking idiot), I officially hate you.

My husband and I have started to create a daily schedule that we attempt to follow to help us get through our day to day basis. It definitely helps, but its not ideal.  It's not the way life was intended to be and its not what I want . Everyday I visualize my stage body, I keep accountable with check ins from my coach, I keep snacks and temptations out of my house and Every. Damn. Day.  I work towards my future.

The only way that us bodybuilders will get through this is to keep going: Adapt, Visualize, and absolutely let no one outwork  you. When we are released from quarantine make them stare.

I'll post another blog soon. Xx

Sidenote: please remember to keep your monthly gym payment going . We need to keep our gyms alive and financially healthy so we have a home to go back into.