However. Although my bundle of joy is a precious gem and I love being her Mama - My mental and physical health also are on the mend. I am young mother and gained an upward of maybe 20lbs total (and no stretch marks) during my pregnancy, my body definitely is not the tight bodybuilding body I am used to. The drop of protein I did not eat throughout my pregnancy made my muscles softer. My thighs rub together and my stomach is loose. For a first time Mom and bodybuilder, its devastating. I am not going to even sugar coat it.
But now the real fun has begun my new task of working, getting my personal gym time in and being a mom. Its a whirlwind of emotions and there are days I forget to eat and do my cardio. However, this new transition and phase in my life is also showing me that life happens, events happen and although its not always the most enjoyable journey back, I want to prove that it is possible. Being a personal trainer and online nutrition coach has allowed me to interact and get to know individuals with tons of different life challenges, body goals and lifestyle ambitions. Being able to be on my own journey through weight loss and restructuring my body back to how I want it to be is going to allow me to have an even more in depth perspective of the challenges and struggles that everyday individuals face.
My husband and I currently have a semi-structured routine in which allows us both to get a decent workout in and prep our meals for the week. Another challenge that is not mentioned is the amount of calories and types of calories that a mother needs to be ingesting during the times of breastfeeding, my god- if you want to see your weight drop, forget to drink enough water and eat 3 square meals for a day and the pounds literally fall off, between hydration and eating enough for my child - it is a workout in itself with a child.
Here is my two cents for this new experience of being a mother- your mental health is most important. How you feel about yourself, the overwhelming needs of reassurance that you are doing a good job as well as trying to create a stable routine for your family is a job in itself. I have made sure that I set aside time for myself daily to make sure I can handle what is being thrown at me for the day.
Now onto the dreaded discussion of breastfeeding. I will be honest, I didnt want to but the medical field really pushes -And I dont mean a slight suggestion, they literally force you to breastfeed your baby when they are born. Now I am not against breastfeeding, its a beautiful connected bond for mother and baby. Not to mention the health benefits the baby gets from breastmilk is literally customized to them. That being said- waking up every morning to meet with the dreaded pump used to latch onto my boobs and pump them slowly until they look like deflated balloons is not a moms finest moments. Especially because I did not take maternity leave. I went back to work 5 days after I gave birth. So the new stress I had was keeping my milk supply up while at work. Pumping between clients; Spending hours in a room waiting for this machine to pull out each ounce of milk it could grab. It was lonely, it was stressful and my life literally became nothing besides working and pumping. I was overly stressed, tired, worn down and completely over pumping. Not to mention on top of that postpartum depression quickly set in for me, making it difficult to take care of myself.
So why was I doing something everyday that made me feel like a cow? Literally milking myself down to feed my child. I couldn't do it- I just stopped, and you know what happened? My stress went away- I focused more on my daughter and not stressed about pulling ounces of milk from my nipples. 7 weeks into the pumping mess and now I am free to spend time with my family and feel refreshed. I have no regrets and breastfeeding is unfortunately just not for everyone. I am the Mom that tried and that's all that matters.
So now I am working back to getting on that IFBB Pro Stage. I am able to train harder - eat for fuel and making sure my daughter is healthy by giving her formula that has all the essentials she needs for growth. I am happier this way, she is happier this way - and at the end of the day, how I choose to raise my daughter is between my husband and myself.
As I continue my journey back to the stage I have my 2 biggest supporters by my side daily, my daughter and my husband. I am focused on each day and ensuring that I am bringing my best mental state to my family as I continue on this road to recovery.
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| 2.5 months postpartum |
