Oh S#!t. I am that Bodybuilder who Got Pregnant.

So if you haven't heard the news by now, I am pregnant with my first child. My husband and I are blessed with this miracle as I have been told since I was about 11 that I would never be able to birth children due to the extensive damage and Infertility damage I caused with my bulimia nervosa.

When I first found out the news,  believe me I was in shock, I still am to an extent. Trying to wrap my head around the fact that in 6 short months I will be a Mom. As exciting as it seems, here is the fact. I am terrified of becoming a mother. I am terrified of knowing my life has to change. From everything,  I have known and loved to do now has a change of priorities.

For 8 years now I have been a competitive Bodybuilder. I have trained intensely, I have changed my diet and supplementation, I have financially drained myself to compete and mature on the competition ladder and now everything that I have worked for is halted for a moment. The thing that is most scary to me is knowing that my body is changing. Knowing that I have to put on weight, knowing that my boobs (that amount to about nothing) are now tripling the size, that my abs are becoming soft as I am creating life and my body is changing into something that is hard for me to accept.

Some individuals who read this article will call me selfish and ungrateful for the complaining and worrying I am doing for my physique, however as an individual who struggles with body dysmorphia,  it is in fact very hard for me to  accept the changes coming my way, but I am taking it day by day.

After discussion with my doctor,  coach and husband. I am still training as intensely as I can without causing detriment to the baby. I am following my diet as closely as possible and I am beginning to baby myself a bit in giving myself some time to relax and embrace being pregnant.  As time goes on I know I will have to take it easier and understand that gaining weight is in fact part of growing a human.

I have been up numerous nights thinking about how my life is going to change, terrified I will be a shit mother and terrified that I will never be able to bounce back to the life I have known on stage and in the fitness world.  I have realized though that all life changes are scary.  What is life without risk? Without Change? Without getting out of the comfort zone?  It is a challenge, a blessing and a setback all at once.  I am blessed to grow this wonderful human and show and teach them all the world has to offer. All in time I will overcome my fears and insecurities of being a mother.  I know that as time goes on and it gets closer to meeting my new human that my ideologies and mindset will change and I know that I will get even more excited to grow my family.

For me, I correlate pregnancy like an offseason/bulking season. You can eat more food, train harder, limit your cardio and put on weight.  I will take this pregnancy and treat it like a controlled off season. Working out hard, eating right and ensuring that I do everything to keep my muscles and baby growing.  Once June comes around, I cannot wait to prove to the world how even as a mom, you can bounce back from a baby, step on stage and become an IFBB pro.


How has life been for me currently? Let's see, watching your stomach grow slowly into a hard lump that starts to slowly protrude out of your stomach is terrifying. Legging are my wardrobe of choice (but let's be real, they always have been) , my appetite has definitely increased, but the cravings have been kept to mostly fruits and salads, not to say that I havent had some chicken nuggets once or twice.  Currently I am up about 5lbs at just under 18 weeks. My weight now just hovering around 168-170lbs. Which for me use to be my offseason weight. So not stressing too much about the weight yet. I am loving naps right now, the immense tiredness is unreal. By 2pm I am completely exhausted and literally have to take a power nap in order to function the rest of the day.



Currently I am training about 5x a week (about 45min sessons) and cardio almost daily, my calories have been hovering around 1400 daily right now.

Current Bench: 225lb
Current Squat: 315lb
Current Dead: 225lb


In comparison pre pregnancy I was training 7 days a week (about 75-90min sessions), taking a rest day about every 12-14 days,  cardio about 4 days a week, with about 2000cals daily.

Pre Preg Bench: 315lb
Pre Preg Dead: 405lb
Pre Preg Squat: 455lb


Lots of changes and lots of goals to look forward to moving forward, I just get to share my journey with my new family as I get back on the road to pro once this new miracle happens to our family.