The Mental Struggle of Prep.

I have been having one of those weeks. A week where I am doubting my worth, my depression is elevated and believe it or not I have questioned myself as to whether I am even good enough to continue competing in the sport of bodybuilding. Here's the truth though - we all go through these phases. It's the hard part of prep. The part no one tells you about or talks about.

I began to question my potential, I thought my progress had plateaued, I thought I looked fat, I hated myself for struggling through a workout. These are thoughts that many of us competitors have from time to time. Contest prep is extremely lonely. Especially now that I am less than 8 weeks out from my show. The diet gets stricter, the cardio increases almost daily and there is always tension with relationships and friendships due to the sacrifice of time that I have to give up. Prep for a show is exhausting, it's time consuming  and it's extremely difficult. For those of you who cannot relate, basically when someone is in contest prep you are purposely putting your body through a diet that is extremely harsh on the body. It is a type of diet that your body cannot possibly maintain as a regular staple in life. As we slowly decrease our body fat % to lower and lower numbers our brain begins to take a toll on the diet and becomes foggy, moods become unstable and you begin to look at yourself in a different way.  Irritiability , frustration,  body dysmorphia, all twist around inside our brains as we deplete ourselves into the lowest body fat % that our body can handle.

Today I sat at the gym struggling through my shoulder workout - I had to dig out my goals and refocus my mindset to that IFBB status that I so badly want before the time I am 30.  I had to use picture comparisons to assure me that I was changing my body everyday. Creating and sculpting it ever so slightly day by day, and year by year to push it to the potential I know it has. In my personal opinion I believe that bodybuilding is the hardest sport a person will ever have to do because you are your competition. You have to defeat your mind and swallow the doubt and bullshit and just do what needs to be done. I also believe it's one of the most expensive.  I did this blog that although many of us show the glamour and positives off the sport it is quite a challenge to make it all come together into a proper package at the proper time.

It is days like these that make you realize how strong the mind is, and how it can completely challenge your mindset. So you are continually battling your mind in it's own personal war. It is exhausting but you always push past this war and move on, later only to look back at the strength you gained from the past and realize that all the pain and dedication you put in was all worth it.

The sport takes years and years to progress in. Each year is another step closer to developing your body into a better conditioning, however, to us competitors there is ALWAYS going to be room for improvements.